The Road to Hell . . .

 . . .is paved with good intentions. And it has been my intention since I began this blog to not pollute it with too much political ugliness. If one were to care to read my random blathering with even the slightest attention, I'm sure that I haven't exactly hid my political views--but this was never to be a place to rant--at least in that arena.

So rant I won't, and be original, I'm not at all, but I am in this strange place of simultaneous sadness and frustration. So I think it best that rather than take-out my funk on my unsuspecting children, one of  whom, tangentally, made me crack-up today because he told me that I "misunderheard" him, I shall write a bit.

 If anyone were to care to know, I would call myself a solid Democrat. But today I am saddened by the legislation that tramples a bit on the separation of church and state. By this I am referring to the health care reform bill that requires Catholic churches, hospitals, et al to provide within the dictates of their insurance policies, coverage for birth control and abortions, etc. This isn't because I am completely anti-birth control--I have at times in my life, run counter to my Catholicism in this--and I would still advocate for its mindful use in certain ways. And I believe that Catholics have the personal responsibility to decide for themselves which part of their insurance coverage that they are or are not going to use--which is what all of us Catholics who are currently covered by insurance plans that already provide for this kind of coverage must do. Instead, I am saddened that this legislation forces the hand of private instituions to provide something that is against their beliefs. If said institutions are accepting government funding, then yes, I understand they are under the government's hand in regards to such legalities--but if they aren't? Then what?

So, no ranting here--more just some disappointment that my beloved party that is so often accused of over-reaching is actually guilty this time. I don't believe that Obama or his health care team has an agenda against the Catholic Church--as the loaded language surrounding this issue might suggest--but I do think that this decision has larger ramifications than what was originally intended.

This recent development is not enough to make me jump ship--or parties however. I deeply value the sanctity of life--and for me, this also includes being anti-death penalty, involves heavy gun control laws, and thinking deeply and spiritually about the build-up of military power. All-told, this keeps me a Democrat--just a grumpy one right now.

To Be Called

Oh, I so believe in this idea. Being "called" that is. But I find myself back in the familiar place of wondering just what that means for me. I seem to understand, or believe it when others say that they've been tapped on the shoulder by Him--but it never seems quite so clear in my own life. I've been sifting through some recent events (okay, more like observations of other's events) in my own life, and I'm left wondering a couple of things . . .

1. Does a person get more than one major calling?
2. How does a person discern the difference between a personal desire/interest and a calling? Or, are they the same thing?
3. Can a person be unaware of a calling? Or does He, realizing that He is being ignored in favor of some less worthy pursuit, realize that, and reach down and shake one by her collar, waggling finger and all?

I have my version of answers to all of these questions, but they still rise to the surface of my dailiness, asking to be attended to. It is all interesting to me when I have felt more content lately than I have in a long while, but all around me, important women in my life are busy adopting and birthing children, saving the world, changing and advancing in their careers, and I am, well, grading more papers and attending to my little corner of home, and those who need me at school. The big question for me then, is, "Did I miss a memo somewhere?" You know, one that told me that because I don't have a "next" on my horizon that I should be looking to offer my gifts in some new way like so many of the lovely ladies around me are doing? My wise big sis offers that maybe this is my time of rest--and that may be. But why is my time not cycling with my sister-friend's time?

Maybe perhaps, I'm being called to be still. That would be a new "next." For me, anyway.

Mom

Unconditional love. Patience. Knowing. How Awe-some (stealing from my fav. Madeline L'Engle here) it is to be blessed by having a mother who is also a friend. Mine is soo kind, generous (to a fault), flexible, spontaneous, and probably one of, if not THE, strongest woman I know. It is so so hard to watch her struggle with her health right now, but she is even grace under fire. There are days when I don't know what I've done to deserve such a Mother and Mentor. If only I can be this Mom to my kids . . .

Epiphany

Whoa, so it has been a bit since I've last posted. We've all been on Christmas vacation from school--and I daresay from so many other things as well (ahem, eating as well as we should, exercsing a little extra, reading quality text . . . and the list probably goes on). Regardless, here we all are, back from our hiatus, ready for January and all of the quiet that I've come to love about this month.

It began today with some closure that I don't usually remember having for the Christmas season. My "closure" typically consists of putting away the Christmas decorations and cleaning the house. This morning at Mass though, Father reminded us that it was indeed Epiphany, and then continued on to explain how the Christmas season will officially end tomorrow with the Feast of Jesus' baptism. At the end of Mass Father invited the congreation to "adopt" the poinsettas on the altar--so 10-year-old carefully picked a beautiful red monstrosity that now sits on our dining room table.

While gorging ourselves on some Wildcard football this afternoon, I prepared the last of our Christmas goodies--peppermint oreos dipped in white chocolate. We had bought the supplies a day or so before Christmas Eve, but various head colds and flus kept us from both eating and cooking very many delights.

This evening while 9-yr-old was reviewing his lesson for CCD he found a colorful chart that explains the Church Calendar. He exclaimed, "Mom! Tomorrow is Ordianry Time--just like Father Jerry said!" Ah, Ordinary time, indeed little one. We could all use some of that in this time and life that is anything but ordinary.

So, Epiphany indeed--the Magi followed their intuition towards the ultimate Knowing. A good reminder today to follow mine towards remembering the importance of closure, enjoying the final fruits of the season, and looking forward to the clean, sparse, Ordinary time to come.